First off, let me say that an unnamed "source" is not someone you want to wager your life savings on. When that source is talking to the Star, you probably wouldn't even want to put your lunch money at risk. That said, if any of these allegations are true, then K-Fed is definitely the better choice for being the custodial parent of his kids with Britney Spears.

MSNBC reports that, according to an upcoming Star exposé, Britney "lets [the boys] sit in soiled diapers for hours until someone else changes them," and "keeps both children up late at night to ensure they sleep late -- this includes waking them up if they fall asleep before 11 p.m." If that's not enough, "she tried to whiten [Sean Preston's] teeth using Crest Whitestrips, but he kept crying. Finally, Britney threw the strips away, telling Sean, 'Fine, you'll just have ugly teeth then!'"

What's worse is the verbal bashings she gives the boys. The source claims that "when Britney is upset, she yells and screams at the boys and once told them, 'You were both mistakes!' She's called them 'burdens, a pain in the ass and the reason (your) father left,'" Ugh. If any of that is true, perhaps CPS should step in to find the kids a better home. I don't know if Federline would be any better, but it hardly seems like he could be much worse.

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My youngest son, Devon, has entered the two year-old faze with a vengeance. He is highly opinionated and deeply displeased when those around him do not support his preferences. Currently his favored preference is for under shirts. He especially like the sleeveless white Hanes variety, sort of an a la K-Fed look. Fortunately it is cold here in the Rocky Mountains, so he wears at least two other layers over his Federline Specials. But whenever he is getting dressed, Devon runs about the house summoning anybody he can find with a screeching, "Look! Look my unda-shut! I soooooo han-some!" It is both touching and slightly scary at the same time.

I remember my other two children had favorite garments and would go to all lengths to express their happiness over them. My oldest son, Loren, was particularly fond of a pair of cowboy boots. He liked to wear them au natural with nary a stitch of clothing on. He even liked to sleep that way -always a struggle. Cassidy favored a tie-dye dress that we bought at a summer fair. She wore it everyday, with me peeling it off of her during the night hours for the occasional wash, until the seams disintegrated sometime around the winter holidays. I love to indulge the young fashion sense, but it sometimes scares me just what it is that grips these small beings.

Do your kids fancy something weird? Please share.

From the never-saw-this-coming files, it's official: Britney Spears has filed for a divorce from Kevin Federline, the former backup dancer and rap-star wannabe who is the father of her two children. Spears filed the divorce papers today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing the oft-used justification of "irreconcilable differences." In her petition papers, Spears is requesting legal and physical custody of both her children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James. The petition would purportedly allow Federline reasonable visitation rights. Spears has hired high-powered LA divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has represented many other celebrities in high-profile divorce cases, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland. There have been reports that last week Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe each asked Wasser to represent both of them in their recent split, but Wasser declined. It is unclear who K-Fed has hired to represent him in the divorce, but even with Britney's pre-nup and the limited money the pawnbroker down the street will give him for his collection of fedoras and personalized bling, I imagine K-Fed be able to find some lawyer in the yellow pages to represent him.

Hey, at least K-Fed's music career is off to such a great start, so after the divorce is finalized he'll totally be able to afford all the Drakkar Noir he needs to meet a new baby mama. According to Spears' petition, the couple officially split yesterday. According to the aol-affiliated website TMZ, which broke news of the divorce, Spears claims there was no single reason for the split, but says it was "a string of events" that caused her to take this step.

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